Abortion and men: ‘It’s traumatic for everybody’

Stuff co.nz 9 March 2020
Family First Comment: “Each time, the decision was made by John and his partner together, based on various circumstances. But that didn’t make it easier. “It’s a hell of a tough call, whichever way you go. It’s bloody traumatic for everybody. It should never be one person’s decision, if possible … When you’re in a relationship with somebody and they get pregnant, it has to be discussed … because it’s a hell of an emotional time.””
Yes – it’s emotional and ‘hell of a tough call’ and ‘bloody traumatic’. Because, deep down, we all know what it actually involves – and the implications for an unborn life.

For John*, talking about his experience with abortion is difficult, but he wants to help.

He’s in his 60s and somewhat of a social recluse, but he’s telling his story, not for his own gain – he asked to remain anonymous – but for men in similar situations.

“I know what I’ve been through, I know how hard it’s been, how hard it still is, and if something I can do or say can help somebody else, then that there is the highlight of my life, to be honest.”

On two occasions in the last 20 years, John sat and cried with partners as they had abortions.

“It was [a scary time] … it was just a bloody nightmare.”

Both pregnancies were a surprise.

After both procedures, his relationships fell apart and he bottled up his feelings for almost two decades. Even talking about it now is difficult.
READ MORE: https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/parenting/120118632/abortion-and-men-its-traumatic-for-everybody

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